boots and more

i am very particular about shoes--a shoe snob, one might say. it's not that i look for designer labels or impressive price tags. i prefer simple styles and comfort above all else. i'm more of a chunky heel than stiletto kind of girl.

in china, shoe shopping can be quite a feat. they're often surprisingly more expensive--go figure, most of them are made in the next town over--and simple style seems to be evade the designers. the otherwise-perfect pair of shoes is usually gratuitously enhanced with some velvet butterfly or sparkly bow. neither of which i am a fan of.

for several months, i had been looking for the perfect pair of knee-high boots. after scouring department store after department store, and even random shoe shops tucked along small lanes, i hadn't found one that embodied the perfect marriage of price and preference. about a month ago, i found one that was as close as i could get. the price was definitely what i was looking for, and the style almost hit the mark. i stood in the shop for probably ten minutes just staring, not even trying on, but just staring at this pair of boots, imagining my life with it. i couldn't commit.

so i left the store, vowing to return in a few days to just seal the deal.

a week later, on a whim, i stopped by a department store that had nothing but shoes. i had purchased other shoes there before that i'd been quite happy with. as i poked around, i spotted a pair of knee-high, brown suede, chunky heel, simple yet versatile pair of boots. and i just knew. the price was right, the look was right, i tried them on and purchased the boots in a matter of five minutes. no hesitation.

why the rambling about some shopping fixation of mine? well, i suppose life is often like shopping for boots. we have a vague idea of what we want, we weigh the options, we do the research, and we find ourselves hemming and hawing over seemingly defining decisions in our lives (much more formative than buying shoes). sometimes, even with all the right information, we just aren't sure. then the doubts start to sneak in....how do i know this is the right thing to do? what's the Lord's will for me? am i making a big mistake? i just don't know.... and so forth.

the thing is, i think we do know when we know. whether it's relationships or career moves or relocation or other big (and sometimes not-so-big) decisions, there's a lot to be said for intuition and the feeling of peace that surpasses all understanding. yes, it is good and right to do the research, get the facts, ask for the advice of others, but when it comes down to it, we decide based not on some rational formula. there has got to be something else, some kind of confirmation that settles both our minds and hearts. when the timing is right and the thing at hand is right, i think we really just know.

there's a quote i heard lately that i really like, but i recall just part of it:"...Wisdom's songs that the soul has sought." and really, that's what we seek, isn't it? not to download knowledge but to sing and dwell deeply in wisdom.

all that from buying a pair of boots......


cups of coffee: 1

mood: sunny days!

roadtrip

having finished donald miller's through painted deserts this morning and finally watching 'the motorcycle diaries' tonight, i find myself engrossed with the thought of taking a roadtrip-across-the-country-with-a-buddy-while-witnessing-beauty-and-finding-myself. and harboring, i confess, a big ol' crush on gael garcia bernal, the mexican actor who plays che guevara in the film. :)

roadtrips are so bohemian and romantic: shrugging off convention in exchange for beat-up vehicles and an old knapsack, living off prayer and the kindness of strangers, sleeping under endless skies and measuring time by clocking miles (or kilometers) on the road....i think i'm missing out on something with this "normal" life of mine.

my wanderlust is starting to itch. having lived in shanghai for 6+ years now, i've actually seen very little of china. most of my travel is work-related, and my international travel the past couple of years have been between points of familiarity.

sometimes it's not the actual sights and change of scenery i crave; it's the whole process of travel, the idea of being on a journey. the reminder that all of life is this wonderful, mysterious, strangely beautiful pilgrimage.


cups of coffee: 2

mood: dreaming of trains and planes and open roads