i am the worst at resting. the worst. i took today off because i'm starting to get sick (and i cannot
afford to be sick right now), and though i did manage to sleep a few more hours than my norm, i've also been busying myself with errands (i ran out of cat food and cannot bear to see jimmy hungry) and responding to emails. and blogging, obviously.
i like to think my restless and impatient nature stems from my chinese ethnicity. the chinese are not patient people, despite possessing that placid asian visage. the japanese are zen. the koreans are smiley. the chinese are impatient.
at least they are in shanghai. my maternal grandmother hailed from these parts, so i'd like to think that somehow, the frenetic nature of this city is intertwined in the strands of my DNA.
if you've ever waited in line with chinese people or been on a plane with them, you know exactly what i'm talking about. case in point: last night, on my flight from beijing, i shared a row with a chinese woman who looked to be in her 40's. with her hair in a sleek updo, she was swathed in a furry black coat (more faux than au naturel) and dangling a shiny black bag from her well-manicured hands. she spent the better part of the nearly two-hour flight curled up near the window asleep, but as soon as the wheels hit the airport tarmac in shanghai, she was awake, alert and suddenly in a hurry. only on flights with chinese passengers do i find that the majority of the plane is unbuckled and hefting bags out of the overhead compartments before the plane has even rolled up to the gate.
as our plane finally halted last night, this woman sprang up and started pushing towards the aisle, and my presence between her and freedom was an obvious impediment. that and the fact the aisle was already full of people who were all rearing to go. i waited for her to make eye contact and then said in chinese, "just wait a minute. no need to be in such a hurry!" and then in exasperated english, "give me a break!"
i know that last bit in english was unnecessary. it's just so frustrating to be constantly jostled and pushed because
everyone around you is in some inexplicable hurry even if the line is going nowhere.
but before i get too comfortable in my judgment seat, i realize that i'm every bit as guilty in my impatience as the chinese masses. i may not elbow people in scrambling for a seat on the subway, but my reaction to being elbowed is often devoid of patience and graciousness. i treat minor inconveniences and interruptions to my schedule as if it's the end of the world. i rush from one thing to another, rarely taking time to just be in the moment and savor the experience.
if life were like one giant airplane, i suppose i would be like that chinese woman, missing out on most of it and then suddenly in a hurry to get to the next thing. and if we're not enjoying the ride, then what's the point?
cups of coffee: 1 1/2
mood: forced rest
