l'amour

meditating on some great quotes by c.s. lewis on love:

“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.”
― C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves 

"A woman's heart should be so close to God that a man should have to chase Him to find her" - C.S. Lewis 

and listen to this magnificent piece of music: "oblivion" by astor piazzolla.

sheer eargasm.

cups of coffee:  2

mood:  sunny days! 

the greatest thing since sliced bread

okay, that might be a slight exaggeration. but this is pretty great.

i recently discovered 8tracks, which is a site that provides, in their own words, "handcrafted internet radio." it - is - genius. for someone like me who loves music, discovering new artists, and composing playlists that capture certain moods, moments, scenarios... this is like heaven. you can share your mixes and listen to others. some people are superb at crafting mixes, and you can follow them and be updated on whatever new playlists they concoct. and if you like a certain song, it's linked to amazon so you can purchase the song with a click. let me reiterate - genius.

i uploaded my first mix a couple of days ago, entitled "spring-ing." here it is:

http://8tracks.com/everting/spring-ing

enjoy!

cups of coffee: 2

mood:  bloated and busy

process...ing

tonight we kicked off a new series at the art gallery: "twocities conversations". our hope is that this series would focus on the creative process and the lovely overlap of art and life as we interview various musicians and artists with whom we work. our first guest was steve sweeting, a brilliantly talented jazz pianist who we've been collaborating with for five years. i hosted the program as the interviewer, putting some of my journalistic training to work (thanks, BU) and living out one of my daydreams as a talk show host (move over, oprah).

it was a lot of fun interviewing steve, especially since he's grown to be a good friend through our years of working together. he's also one of the most gifted, astute and imaginative musicians i know, and he never ceases to amaze me with his breadth of creativity and depth of thinking. he spouted quite a few things tonight that were worth mulling over and digesting - everything from the importance of playfulness in cultivating creativity to the capacity for improvisation and openness to surprises in music and life.

steve shared about the process of songwriting, how inspiration can come in many ways and many shades. there is rigor involved in constantly working and reworking songs, trying this style or that key, setting it in this or that time signature, until the song develops into something you can be satisfied with. there is obvious joy in the process for him - even in talking about songwriting and experimenting with different arrangements, his face lights up and his fingers twitch as if itching to dance across piano keys.

being an excellent musician or artist (or anything in life, i suppose) requires a certain commitment to the "process." there must be a willingness to try and fail (sometimes spectacularly), and fearlessness to take risks. it's not about always obtaining measurable outcomes.

i've learned a lot about process from my time in shanghai, particularly working at twocities. patience was never one of my great virtues, and i usually operate at two speeds: 1) fast and 2) faster. i used to think patience was about waiting: sitting around wearing some calm composure, a face of serenity that could rival the placid visages of mother mary statues, hands folded in gentle acquiescence, waiting. but lately, i've started viewing patience from another perspective: perhaps it's not passive waiting but a very active engagement in the process. our lives are always in some sort of transition - i think those moments of complete inactivity are rare. we are constantly growing and learning, trying and adjusting, succeeding and failing, acquiring and losing. in the midst of it all, we are impatient, wanting to push past this stage, get rid of this or that now, move to the next level, etc. we cannot allow the process to occur and run its natural course. we struggle with being fully present and committed to the process. we grow in discontent.

but to see our life as a work of art - a sculpture being chiseled or a song being penned bar by bar - to allow the process to be and to remain open to what we cannot plan or manipulate...
and how reassuring to know there is a Great Artist who is shaping us, who forms my bones and my days, and who knows exactly where and how the process needs to be....

i am striving to not just learn patience; i am learning to be more present. i am learning to derive more joy from the process.

on a side note, at the end of the interview with steve, i peppered him with a series of questions proust-questionnaire style, in the tradition of "inside the actor's studio." here are the ten questions that i aim to ask every guest in subsequent "twocities conversations":

1. What is your favorite word?
2. What is your least favorite word?
3. What makes you happy?
4. What makes you angry?
5. What is your favorite quality in a man?
6. What is your favorite quality in a woman?
7. Where would you like to live next?
8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
9. What profession would you not like to do?
10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?

just for fun, here are the answers i would give:

1. cacophony
2. retarded
3. hugs
4. stripping away of dignity
5. humility
6. resilience
7. italy
8. chef
9. mechanic
10. "well done, good and faithful servant."


how would you answer these questions?


cups of coffee: 2

mood: excited

dr. horrible

just watched "dr. horrible's sing-along blog" last night with the bro and sis-in-law.

one word: amazing. how did i miss this two years ago?!? oh wait. i live in china.

the soundtrack itself was worth it - pure genius. don't you wish life were like a musical? i do. a few friends and i attempted that for a day during my freshman year of college: skipping and twirling down the main thoroughfare of our campus, breaking into song and badly choreographed dance in front of a bagel shop. needless to say, only lasted a couple of hours.


cups of coffee: 2

mood: baby, it's cold outside

i heart glee

LOVIN' glee's rendition of "hey, soul sister". something about an all-boys acappella group....*sigh*.


cups of coffee: working on 1

mood: good morning!

rick astley

hilarious! and brilliant.


cups of coffee: 1

mood: sortin'

strict joy

gray skies, cool breeze...a day when the city seems to be muffled by clouds. i have the whole day off and i intend on doing nothing but sleeping, reading, writing and eating. ahhhhhhhhh.

perfect day to listen to the swell season's most recent album, 'strict joy.'

glen hansard and marketa irglova of the swell season were thrust into the limelight after the unanticipated wild success of the movie (and soundtrack) 'once'. as much as i love the 'once' soundtrack, i am head-over-heels enamored by 'strict joy'. besides the sheer musical brilliance and lyrical poignancy of the songs, the whole theme of the album is compelling. the name of the album of comes from a poem penned by irish novelist and poet james stephens. the poem is called "strict care, strict joy!", which you can read in full here.

my favorite stanza from the poem:

For, as he meditated misery

And cared it into song—strict care, strict joy!

Caring for grief he cared his grief away:

And those sad songs, tho' woe be all the theme,

Do not make us grieve who read them now

—Because the poet makes grief beautiful.

the basic thread of the poem is the outworking of grief, sorrow and disappointments into things of beauty and gold. the album follows the same strain--the transformation of sorrow into joy, the intentionality that it takes and the willingness to address the sorrow and not bypass or stifle it. for a great brief explanation about the album, click here.

it's the thrust of life, isn't it? how we as broken, fallen creatures so desperately crave for wholeness. how we long for our mourning to turn into gladness and our weeping into dancing. how we desire to go through the fire and come out on the other side not destroyed but refined, made stronger and purer as finest gold.


cups of coffee: 1 1/2

mood: recuperating

ophelia

friend grace sent me the video of natalie merchant singing at TED awhile back: phenomenal. here's the link.

natalie breathes new life into obscure 19th century poetry by pairing them with haunting and soulful melodies. she also talks about each poem and poet as if they are old friends and not mere subjects of research.

watching the video prompted me to dig out my old natalie merchant albums, and i've been listening to ophelia recently. i forget how absolutely beautiful that album is. it's a heavy album, better for a rainy day than a walk in the park. but there's this wonderful, silvery beauty that underlies the melancholy.

it's not just the music; her lyrics are stunning. listening to "king of may" nearly brings tears to my eyes every time. my favorite track is "when they ring the golden bells," a rendition of an 1880's hymn. listening to it, i feel as if i'm floating down the river jordan, strumming a guitar, straining to see the distant shore. lovely.

cups of coffee: 1

mood: streeeeeetch

new(er) mood

new year - new resolutions? new plans? new hopes?
sure.
but mostly, new playlist with current music fixations!

i have a new playlist entitled "newer mood" that i'm currently lovin'. so here's some of what's been spinning round and round on my ipod....

thanks to friend billy's amazing music blog, i've discovered a few bands occupying comfortable slots on my playlist. included are:

matt and kim have a fun and upbeat sound that catch your ear and get your foot tapping. check out "lessons learned."

noah and the whale. "blue skies" had me at the drop of the drum beat and first few chords.

phoenix plays brilliant pop. "girlfriend" is great for dancing around the apartment.

other bands that have been around but i'm just getting around to (cut me some slack. i'm old and i live in china.):

owl city. just missed his performance here in shanghai! i love the crowd pleaser "fireflies". and the song "umbrella city" makes me feel like i can fly.....or be a video game champ.

kings of leon. the first few measures of "use somebody" is absolutely stellar.

i love, love, LOVE ingrid michaelson. discovered her from "gray's anatomy" soundtracks. i can't get enough of "you and i". then again, i'm a sucker for anything with a ukulele.

the avett brothers. yes, i'll gladly jump aboard the new folk wave and confess my love for the avett brothers.

i came across "neverends" by vijay kishore on a compilation album i downloaded. this is simply a lovely swoon of a song. great listen for when you have an achin' heart.

i think it was off the same compilation album that i found ben howard's "cloud nine." intriguing guitar, great voice. i love melancholy love songs.

and a couple of sweet little ditties for the softer side. i've been listening to mindy smith for years and love her airy and sweet-as-whipped-frosting voice. "it really is (a wonderful life)" was a free holiday download from amazon and though christmas is over, i am still adamantly listening to this song. makes me feel like i'm walking through some snowy wonderland, sipping hot chocolate, making snow angels, holding hands and getting warm fuzzies. love it.

another lovey-dovey song without teetering into complete saccharine sappiness: sam & ruby's "this i know." jazzy instrumentals coupled with ruby's slightly raspy vocals and sam's tinge of a twang. feel-good stuff.

finally, some great recommendations from good friend and music fiend oli:

caravan palace! it's like 1920s swing jazz on acid. it works and it's absolutely brilliant. "dragons" especially gets my heart pumping and my groove on.

mumford & sons. wow. wow, wow, wow. talented musicians, and a commitment to honest and raw lyrics. they are quickly becoming one of my favorite bands.

there are a few more, but these top the list.

any other recommendations for a new playlist?


cups of coffee: 1 and a nice cup of yerba mate

mood: tiiiiiiiiired but happy

*cute*

really sweet song and video by melpo mene, discovered via my friend traci's blog.

enjoy!




cups of coffee: 1 STRONG cup

mood: happy happy

soundtrack to life

just the other day (staring out the bus window as usual) i was thinking about what a soundtrack for my life would sound like. i tend to gravitate towards two types of music: 1) mellow, moody, folksy rock with soothing harmonies, girl-and-guy-duo, soft voices and deep lyrics and 2) loud, thumping, turn-the-bass-up-and-jump-around-your-room dance music. music that makes you move really strikes a chord (ha ha, punny) with me; either it gets me physically moving with hard-to-resist beats, or it gets me to move metaphorically in some kind of meditative philosophical way through a tune and lyrics swollen with meaning and profundity.

and then, of course, there are those songs attached to specific memories, conjuring certain feelings and recollections no matter where you are or what you are doing.

so. here's my attempt at compiling a soundtrack for my life (thus far):

"girls just wanna have fun" - cyndi lauper
"brick house" - commodores
"a little respect" - erasure
"always be my baby" - mariah carey (yes....i admit it.....)
"mo money, mo problems" - mase, puff daddy and the notorious b.i.g.
"city of blinding lights" - U2
"heavenly day" - patty griffin
"keep the river on your right" - jake armerding
"chicago" - sufjan stevens
"viva la vida" - coldplay
"electric feel" - MGMT
"i'm in the middle of it" - waterdeep
"happiness" - the weepies
"heartbeats" - jose gonzalez
"100 years" - five for fighting
"ara batur" - sigur ros
"gang kou (harbor)" - jasmine chen
"oh happy day" - the sister act 2 version :)

and for my funeral: "dance" - caedmon's call

what would be on your life soundtrack?


cups of coffee: 2

mood: *yawn*

melancholic

perhaps it's the incessant rain. or the letdown after a month-long high of traipsing around china with dear friends. perhaps it's the return to a suffocating city after weeks of glorious open spaces and open skies. whatever the cause, i've been moving slower the past few days, lethargic in body, mind and spirit. today was my first day back at work, and though inundated with a gazillion things-to-do, i felt as if i were moving in slow motion, trying to synchronize swim in a pool of gelatin.

summers in shanghai are like a revolving door, and you never return to the same city. buildings that have stood as long as you can remember are suddenly demolished. dear friends who've become central to your social life and overall well-being move and leave the country. strangers who've just unpacked their suitcases, ready for whatever shanghai is ready to dish out, greet you with the same curiosity you possess as you size them up and down: will you be a friend this year?

such is life, and i've grown accustomed to it...i suppose.

trudging home in the rain, i rode the bus and stared out the window, engaging in one of my favorite pastimes: listening to my ipod while observing street scenes. it's like having a soundtrack to life. as i watched old couples shuffle down the sidewalks and young people huddle under umbrellas at the bus stops, death cab for cutie's simple, poignant and haunting "i will follow you into the dark" played through my earphones. it was a melancholic, pitch-perfect moment.

cups of coffee: 2

mood: oh so quiet...