bliss-filled blur

one official week of summer left....it's been a happy blur. just the thought of recapping everything seems overwhelming, so instead i'm slapping photos on here to summarize my summer since it's more fun to look at images anyway.

all photos taken by author, not to be used or reproduced without permission

cups of coffee:  1

mood:  full heart

ringing in the new

old friends. new friends. art-viewing at museums. chowing down in chinatown. friends performing folk music in new year's eve concert. fireworks over the boston skyline. dance party. a whole lotta laughing.

2013, you're off to a wonderful start.

cups of coffee:  1

mood:  happy

breather

the busyness of school and work has sadly relegated my blogging to a monthly activity. it's certainly not from a lack of material here - life seems to be bursting at the seams and i'm thankful for every minute.

this past week was spring break, and though i worked every day and hardly had time to myself, it did kick off quite nicely. a friend invited me to join him and his friends for a getaway to the catskills last weekend, and it was exactly what my body and spirit needed. we loaded up the car around 4 in the afternoon on friday, but thanks to manhattan traffic, got off to a slow start. we then deliberated quite a bit on a dinner spot, finally agreeing on chili's (which i hadn't been to in ages), where we proceeded to take our time eating and engaging in conversations so funny, i almost lizzed. stopping to buy groceries for the weekend on the way, we ended up in some kind of strange twilight zone supermarket where the employees were all too friendly (one in particular was strangely knowledgeable and enthusiastic about tomatoes), and a sweet old lady in a purple knitted hat and i got into a lively discussion about club soda in the beverage aisle.

we finally reached our destination, a quaint cottage set back in the woods that my friend found on this site called homeaway. it was 10:30 pm by the time we arrived, much colder than when we set off in the afternoon, and we were eager to unpack and settle by a warm fireplace. we found the key, left graciously for us under the mat near the back door (this was a very safe neighborhood) - but we discovered to our dismay that the lock to the door was broken. the key slipped in quite easily but turned a full 360 without a click or any other sound. still calm, we tried the front door, the side door, the door to the screened porch.....without success. at this point, i was needing to go to the bathroom and regretting all those glasses of iced water consumed at chili's. we called the owner, who resided in long island city, and left a message on her voicemail. we started rattling the windows, hoping to find an unlocked window. while we were at the verge of contemplating actually breaking a window - and my friend brett at this point had already started jiggling door locks with a hairpin - i found a window that was unlocked. hoisting it open, i scrambled on top of a patio chair and clambered through the window without a second thought. i had never been so grateful to jump through a window.

the rest of the weekend was pretty uneventful after our break-in, filled mostly with cooking, eating, and chatting around the fireplace. we did find this set of giant arrows and paper targets in the garage that we fondly called "lawn arrows", and we ended up spending most of our saturday afternoon in a rousing "lawn arrows" match.

 the fierce lawn arrows league

the cottage was lovely, filled with charming corners and peaceful views. my favorite was the screened porch, and i spent some time reading outside each morning with a nice cup of coffee.

saturday dinner was the highlight as far as meals went - though each meal was fantastic. all four of us love to eat and love to prepare food - and i was pleasantly surprised at the guys' skills. brett really wanted to grill steaks, and he ended up concocting this wonderful creation of marinated steaks wrapped with jalapeno peppers and bacon. i'm not even a huge steak lover, but...oh MY....

 the chef at work

 ready for the grill

 the dinner table

the kitchen was unusually well-equipped, possessing even a standing mixer. and there was an impressive collection of books, including a wide array of cookbooks that decorated a shelf along the dining room cupboards. all this made more sense when brett discovered boxes of julie & julia in all different languages in the basement - we had unknowingly rented the cottage from julie powell herself! what a pleasant surprise.

the weekend was a much needed breather, just to get out of the city. i felt every muscle relax in a way that hadn't happened in awhile, and to just breathe the crisp air and fill my eyes with the greenery....bliss. sunday morning, i even saw a cardinal perched in a bush, studying me as i studied him. and a fat squirrel scampering along the fence inspired me to write a poem about that squirrel contemplating his own mortality.

as much as we wanted to stay, the sirens of real life called and we were sad to leave. but oh, what a nice respite....

cups of coffee:  2 + 1 green tea

mood: *sigh*

respite and reunions

there’s a popular adage in chinese that goes something like this when translated into english: “if the old doesn’t go, the new can’t come.” this saying especially resonated these past couple of weeks as 2011 eased into 2012. it wasn’t just celebrating the ringing in of a new year for me; it was also a time of deep reflection and realization that a long and significant chapter of my life had closed and i was fully in the midst of a new and exciting, though uncertain, phase of life.

my first semester of grad school finished in a flurry of paper-writing and presentations sustained by a never-ending stream of caffeine. my body and soul gave one of the biggest sighs of relief the day i turned in my last project and winter break officially kicked off. the turning of the year was accompanied by fantastic reunions all around. i flew down to north carolina during the last week of december for three glorious days with my best friends from college. the last time all four of us gathered together was seven years ago, at the wedding of one of the girls. she now has two sons – one five years old, the other just turned one. it was a blessed gift to see old friends and to slip into conversations and laughter as if we had never been separated. it was also amazing to see that though time, distance and different life experiences had shaped us, our worldviews had formed in similar ways and our dialogues were charged with the excitement and passion of shared convictions. we first met as college girls carrying a certain naïveté and expectations of what the world should be. i’m proud to say that we are now older, wiser, and though challenged by some of the things life has tossed at us, we still carry in our hearts plenty of joy and hope and not an ounce of cynicism. i’d also like to think we are more beautiful (definitely more fashionable) now in our early 30’s than we were in our 20’s! ;)

while in north carolina, i also had the opportunity to visit some dear friends who also recently moved back to the states from china. to sit in their living room, drink coffee and play with their kids felt like we were still in their living room in shanghai, as if no time and distance had passed.

i chose to spend my first new year’s in new york by getting out of new york and traveling instead to boston. i stayed with my friend hanneke and we hosted a fabulous dinner party at her apartment. it was a lovely evening of good food, wine and even a little cavorting under a disco ball. fresh from reminiscing with my college girlfriends in north carolina, being back in boston also stirred for me memories of my college days. it’s astounding to think i graduated from university over 11 years ago…

and now 2012 has set off with a gentle start. this past week, justin and lauren, with whom i worked closely in shanghai, came up to new york to see a musical on broadway and stayed overnight at my place. they had moved back to the states this past summer as well, and to catch up with them was absolute joy. we were able to process a lot of similar feelings and thoughts about leaving china and resettling back into america and embarking on new chapters.

i sense a quieter timbre in my approach to this new year. the past nine years, i jumped into the new year with much gusto, buzzing with activity and bursting with a million and one ideas for the months ahead. part of it was due to my work at the gallery and involvement with the arts community – there was always so much to do. but in this new place and in this new role as a graduate student, i find that my main focus is on school and apart from that, i haven’t found other causes or groups that i am committed to. there is also a sense of weariness, a desire and maybe even a need to experience a long respite. i left shanghai tottering on the verge of burnout, and there’s a part of me thankful not to be serving in any sort of leadership capacity currently. various leadership opportunities have been offered to me in the past couple of months, but i have politely declined, wanting to shrug off the mantle of responsibility awhile longer. it’s a strange tension: as much as i want to shy away from serving as a leader of any sort, i miss it as well. i miss being part of a project or cause that i am passionate about, i miss mobilizing people and working together with a team to make something happen. my life here, though packed, feels strangely hollow in a way. there is this great veneer of busyness but beneath it all, i am still craving for something more substantial to do.

attending school full-time and working part-time, however, leaves little room for many involvements. there is also the reality that i am still becoming acquainted with a new city and getting to know new circles of friends. it may be awhile before i connect with like-minded folks with shared vision to undertake a project together.

people here often ask me if i miss shanghai. it’s not an easy response. i don’t miss the masses, the pushing and shoving, the cultural nuances and expectations that i eventually learned but never appreciated. i don’t miss the traffic or the pollution. i don’t even miss china and everything that has to do with china. i do miss the food a lot. what i miss most is the amazing community i took for granted. i miss the expatriate friends who were adventurous enough to move to a foreign land to obey a calling or pursue a dream. i miss the creativity and tenacity shared by so many who flocked to that massive city to carve out a more meaningful life. i miss the spirit of entrepreneurship and ingenuity that pervaded shanghai. i miss the love, genuine concern, and encouragement as expressed by those in my circles of friends, chinese and non-chinese, who grew as close as family. i miss laboring with others under a shared vision to engage culture and participate in the transformation of a city.

but i guess if the old doesn’t go, the new can’t come, even if i don’t quite know what the new is yet. 

cups of coffee: 1

mood:  refreshed

30-hour respite

just returned from a quick weekend trip to boston - 30 hours to be exact. squeezed it in while new england foliage was still bursting in its glory, right before thanksgiving and the onslaught of my final projects and papers (only 4+ weeks of the semester left....unbelievable).

highlights:
mint chocolate coffee at cafe algiers. chili and beer party at the beautiful l'abri house in southborough. conversations late into the night about love, God, family and community. brunch at IHOP, for old times' sake. 25-cent chicken wings and sunday afternoon football. downtown boston aglow with autumn sunshine. worship at my home church. delightful friends who bring such joy to my heart.

thank you, boston. that was a wonderful and much-needed respite.

cups of coffee: 3

mood:  happy

ah, cambodia!

over china's labor holiday last week, a few friends and i took a quick jaunt down to cambodia. we hired a van and driver who shuttled us between phnom penh and siem reap (a little over 5 hours each way). good eats, great conversations, gorgeous scenery, absolutely lovely people....i was completely enraptured by the place...

 exploring the magnificent temples of angkor

inside angkor wat

 door-to-door monks

fish massage and pedicure - the little fish eat the dead skin off your feet. yech.

life has been moving at a million miles per minute. my mind has been fixed on high speed, and there is so much to process. meanwhile, the days are ticking by....less than two months before i leave shanghai...

cups of coffee:  2

mood:  pensive

one-way

it's official!
just purchased a one-way ticket from shanghai back to america, departing on june 30.

let the countdown begin.....

cups of coffee:  1 with soymilk

mood:  whoa

springtime in beijing

three days, two nights...one last trip to beijing before i leave china.
overnight trains, peking duck, crowded subways, summer palace, skewer of fried scorpions, speakeasy bar, meeting up with friends old and new.
delightful.

 our lovely courtyard hostel

 beautiful day - outside forbidden city

 forbidden city

 lovely old door in a hutong neighborhood

 first bite!

 eating our way through the famous wangfujing night market

fabulous spring afternoon at the summer palace

beijing - i admit you've won me over. but i'll always be a shanghai girl at heart.

cups of coffee: 2 + 2 green tea

mood:  going strong

hello, i love you

conversations on beauty and rehumanization. poetry that transcends the mundane to rub against Divinity's edges. skylines and fire escapes. late night drinks and even later dancing. songs that thread life's moments of joy and sorrow. reunion of friends from different continents. rainy afternoons and red mango. getting lost in the art. dreaming about the future and all that is to come.

much more to share, but still processing and running from one thing to another.

new york, i love you, and not just because the t-shirt told me to.


cups of coffee: 0! (still early)

mood: achoo! sniffle, sniffle.... :(

one more...

one more favorite image from the taiwan trip....

three generations: me, mom and grandma. 25 years between each. guess i broke the pattern....

cups of coffee: 2

mood: relaxing

the "other" china

one week in taiwan with my parents, brother and sister-in-law - my first trip back in 18 years. massive family reunions and good meal after good meal. gorgeous scenery and cities teeming with vibrant night markets. civility. ah, taiwan, how i do love thee - you have captured both my heart and my stomach.

lots of thoughts percolating in my mind, but for now, some of my favorite images from the trip.

 peter and lisa enjoying the best peanut shaved ice ever

 dad and his brother at one of their favorite childhood haunts

 the tings

 downtown hsinchu. my parents are adorable. :)

 my grandma. hope i look this good at 82!

 hong baos! (red envelopes) usually given to children. are we too old? nah....

lunch with my dad's side of the family

a million and one strands of thoughts and flickers of feelings are still flowing through me....i will try and process via blogging over the next few days. still playing host to my parents in shanghai this week, though, so will be busy with shopping, eating, and all that other good stuff.

i will say this: knowing where you come from is crucial to knowing who you are. it doesn't necessarily dictate who you are and who you will become, but your bloodlines, family history, nuances of culture...all that is genetically encoded and traditionally passed down to compose pieces of you provide deep insight to how you are who you are.

i have a whole new respect for and interest in tracing genealogies.

cups of coffee: 2

mood:  laaaaaaaaazy