bliss-filled blur

one official week of summer left....it's been a happy blur. just the thought of recapping everything seems overwhelming, so instead i'm slapping photos on here to summarize my summer since it's more fun to look at images anyway.

all photos taken by author, not to be used or reproduced without permission

cups of coffee:  1

mood:  full heart

happenstance?

two friends ran the boston marathon on monday, both slated to finish around 3 pm when the explosives went off. one friend planned on pushing his two young sons in a jogging stroller to the finish line, but ended up running slower than anticipated and was two miles away when the explosions occurred. another friend was running bandit and tracking his run with his phone, which he lost around mile 14, so he stopped. these seemingly small, and perhaps even irritable gestures at the time became merciful acts of protection in retrospect.

for many people, circumstances did not work out to their physical protection on monday. a delayed minute or two there, running faster or slower, deciding to watch the race or not that day, caused them their life or their limbs. choices that seemed insignificant ended up monumental.

we can call it many things: happenstance, coincidence, fate, luck. but at the end of the day, we are struck by this hard realization that our independent actions are actually not so independent after all - we are woven into a greater tapestry, and our action and inaction affect others and vice versa. what we think we have control over is frighteningly uncontrollable.

every moment matters - let us be conscious of that. but let us not live in fear but in faith. for those who subscribe to belief in a Higher Power, one that is sovereign and loving, we are able to walk through the moments of our lives with confidence. we ultimately have no control, but a God who is all-powerful and gracious does. and even in times of darkness and devastation, we can cling to the knowledge that in Christ, this is a God who entered that darkness and suffered as well. He did not shy from persecution and death but plunged right into the heart of it and emerged victorious from the tomb. this is a God who does not avoid suffering but chose to endure it. most importantly, He triumphed, giving us a way to triumph as well.

this is my consolation as i continue to grieve with those who grieve in boston and around the world. we cannot ignore the reality of pain and suffering, but we also need not be crushed by it. we do not know how our actions will play out or how our days will unfold, but if we can trust in a greater glory and a higher hope, then we know that all things - even when they are very, very awful - can still work out for good.


cups of coffee:  1

mood:  mourning

boston love

you are a city that's been so good to me - you took me in as a young adult, as i tried out my fledgling wings and learned to stand on my own two feet. you gave me my first true experience of community, from lifelong friends to a church that i still call home. you challenged me, encouraged me, showed me beauty in acts of human flourishing. you still hold for me pockets of quiet retreat, old haunts that i'm always happy to stomp around.

yesterday, someone decided to perform an act so horrendous, so atrocious, attempting to gut the joy out of one of your most cherished traditions on a day that celebrates not just you but our nation. o, boston, my heart is heavy for you. i grieve with you as you grieve the loss of loved ones. i demand justice be laid with a strong arm on the perpetrators. i seek comfort and solace for those who are hurt and frightened.

but you are resilient, boston. you are a tough city and you always have been. most of all, there is a God who is sovereign and merciful, and He is ever present to heal the wounded and bind the brokenhearted. He has not forgotten you, even in this present darkness, and He will bring forth your light again.

 Copley Square, photo taken by Eva

 Museum of Fine Arts, photo taken by Eva

cups of coffee:  1

mood:  sad

ringing in the new

old friends. new friends. art-viewing at museums. chowing down in chinatown. friends performing folk music in new year's eve concert. fireworks over the boston skyline. dance party. a whole lotta laughing.

2013, you're off to a wonderful start.

cups of coffee:  1

mood:  happy

rejoice!

"Oh death, where is your victory?
Oh death, where is your sting?" (1 Corinthians 15:55)

"For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery." (Galatians 5:1)

rejoice, rejoice! rejoice, o my soul, for the LORD God has granted you unending favor in His Son. rejoice for you are no longer under fear or condemnation but have been set free. rejoice for given to you is all hope and power, and set before you is all glory and grace. rejoice for your cup overflows continually, and upon you shines the fullness of a love supreme.

 hot cross buns served at my church's wonderful easter service this morning

**********

a few images from a wonderful excursion to boston last weekend: crashing my brother's field trip with some of his high school students. thanks for letting me tag along, pete!

 my favorite brother :)

 the crew

 papa duck and his little ducklings

cups of coffee:  2

mood:  hooray!

respite and reunions

there’s a popular adage in chinese that goes something like this when translated into english: “if the old doesn’t go, the new can’t come.” this saying especially resonated these past couple of weeks as 2011 eased into 2012. it wasn’t just celebrating the ringing in of a new year for me; it was also a time of deep reflection and realization that a long and significant chapter of my life had closed and i was fully in the midst of a new and exciting, though uncertain, phase of life.

my first semester of grad school finished in a flurry of paper-writing and presentations sustained by a never-ending stream of caffeine. my body and soul gave one of the biggest sighs of relief the day i turned in my last project and winter break officially kicked off. the turning of the year was accompanied by fantastic reunions all around. i flew down to north carolina during the last week of december for three glorious days with my best friends from college. the last time all four of us gathered together was seven years ago, at the wedding of one of the girls. she now has two sons – one five years old, the other just turned one. it was a blessed gift to see old friends and to slip into conversations and laughter as if we had never been separated. it was also amazing to see that though time, distance and different life experiences had shaped us, our worldviews had formed in similar ways and our dialogues were charged with the excitement and passion of shared convictions. we first met as college girls carrying a certain naïveté and expectations of what the world should be. i’m proud to say that we are now older, wiser, and though challenged by some of the things life has tossed at us, we still carry in our hearts plenty of joy and hope and not an ounce of cynicism. i’d also like to think we are more beautiful (definitely more fashionable) now in our early 30’s than we were in our 20’s! ;)

while in north carolina, i also had the opportunity to visit some dear friends who also recently moved back to the states from china. to sit in their living room, drink coffee and play with their kids felt like we were still in their living room in shanghai, as if no time and distance had passed.

i chose to spend my first new year’s in new york by getting out of new york and traveling instead to boston. i stayed with my friend hanneke and we hosted a fabulous dinner party at her apartment. it was a lovely evening of good food, wine and even a little cavorting under a disco ball. fresh from reminiscing with my college girlfriends in north carolina, being back in boston also stirred for me memories of my college days. it’s astounding to think i graduated from university over 11 years ago…

and now 2012 has set off with a gentle start. this past week, justin and lauren, with whom i worked closely in shanghai, came up to new york to see a musical on broadway and stayed overnight at my place. they had moved back to the states this past summer as well, and to catch up with them was absolute joy. we were able to process a lot of similar feelings and thoughts about leaving china and resettling back into america and embarking on new chapters.

i sense a quieter timbre in my approach to this new year. the past nine years, i jumped into the new year with much gusto, buzzing with activity and bursting with a million and one ideas for the months ahead. part of it was due to my work at the gallery and involvement with the arts community – there was always so much to do. but in this new place and in this new role as a graduate student, i find that my main focus is on school and apart from that, i haven’t found other causes or groups that i am committed to. there is also a sense of weariness, a desire and maybe even a need to experience a long respite. i left shanghai tottering on the verge of burnout, and there’s a part of me thankful not to be serving in any sort of leadership capacity currently. various leadership opportunities have been offered to me in the past couple of months, but i have politely declined, wanting to shrug off the mantle of responsibility awhile longer. it’s a strange tension: as much as i want to shy away from serving as a leader of any sort, i miss it as well. i miss being part of a project or cause that i am passionate about, i miss mobilizing people and working together with a team to make something happen. my life here, though packed, feels strangely hollow in a way. there is this great veneer of busyness but beneath it all, i am still craving for something more substantial to do.

attending school full-time and working part-time, however, leaves little room for many involvements. there is also the reality that i am still becoming acquainted with a new city and getting to know new circles of friends. it may be awhile before i connect with like-minded folks with shared vision to undertake a project together.

people here often ask me if i miss shanghai. it’s not an easy response. i don’t miss the masses, the pushing and shoving, the cultural nuances and expectations that i eventually learned but never appreciated. i don’t miss the traffic or the pollution. i don’t even miss china and everything that has to do with china. i do miss the food a lot. what i miss most is the amazing community i took for granted. i miss the expatriate friends who were adventurous enough to move to a foreign land to obey a calling or pursue a dream. i miss the creativity and tenacity shared by so many who flocked to that massive city to carve out a more meaningful life. i miss the spirit of entrepreneurship and ingenuity that pervaded shanghai. i miss the love, genuine concern, and encouragement as expressed by those in my circles of friends, chinese and non-chinese, who grew as close as family. i miss laboring with others under a shared vision to engage culture and participate in the transformation of a city.

but i guess if the old doesn’t go, the new can’t come, even if i don’t quite know what the new is yet. 

cups of coffee: 1

mood:  refreshed

30-hour respite

just returned from a quick weekend trip to boston - 30 hours to be exact. squeezed it in while new england foliage was still bursting in its glory, right before thanksgiving and the onslaught of my final projects and papers (only 4+ weeks of the semester left....unbelievable).

highlights:
mint chocolate coffee at cafe algiers. chili and beer party at the beautiful l'abri house in southborough. conversations late into the night about love, God, family and community. brunch at IHOP, for old times' sake. 25-cent chicken wings and sunday afternoon football. downtown boston aglow with autumn sunshine. worship at my home church. delightful friends who bring such joy to my heart.

thank you, boston. that was a wonderful and much-needed respite.

cups of coffee: 3

mood:  happy

a thousand words

if a picture is worth a thousand words, then here are a few thousand words from this past weekend.

my brother gets hitched! welcome to the family, lovely lisa. :)

the lovely old-fashioned carousel at the reception venue

next stop: 2-day visit to boston with friends!

gorgeous weather, good eats, lots of fun. i love boston in the summer!

salmon with hummus at legal seafoods. YUM!

finally, a few artsy shots taken with the hipstatmatic iphone app. shot at the boston public library, one of my favorite locales in the world.

parting shot: cupcakes on newbury street. A-MAZ-ING.

cups of coffee: 2

mood:  so happy

boston in the fall

boston is lovely in the fall. the air is crisp enough to require a fuzzy scarf or lined jacket but your fingers and toes still wiggle with comfortable delight. the sky is blue--a beautiful plane of blue, speckled occasionally with white puffs of clouds, but mostly just wonderful blue. the sun beats warmly on your back and all around, you are surrounded by bursts of foliage, explosions of reds and golds that cling to tree branches. they seem almost in motion---brilliantly colorful plumage caught by the gnarled fingers of trees, swaying as if in celebration or just exuberant greeting. it's hard not to smile and be thankful for every breath of air, every movement in your being in the presence of such beauty. :)

cups of coffee: 3

mood: jetlaggin'......

inspired

just returned a few days ago from a(nother) whirlwind trip to the states. this time, the main purpose was to attend the IAM encounter, but of course squeezed in as many meals and late nights with friends as possible. :)

swung by boston first and then a stay in nyc that was extended by a snowstorm (i did not complain).

a few memorable moments from the trip....

reunion of china friends in boston


catching up with mindy and carrie


massive reunion of china friends in nyc

we love red mango!!!

i've been feeling inspired lately--i suppose a combination of attending the IAM encounter, reading more poetry, and being held accountable by our community arts group to be creative and creating. the inspiration has found an outlet mainly in poetry, and writing and reading more poetry has been both relaxing and nourishing. it's also enabling me to process more and to give shape and some clarity to the jumble of feelings and thoughts often bumbling around inside me.

here's a poem i wrote today about an incident that happened this morning:


Street Scene - Shanghai

On my way to the bus stop this morning,
I saw a woman attack a man with a stool.
She hurled the wooden block with such fierce fury,
so much rage for a middle-aged Chinese lady.

He was a young man,
sitting in a newspaper kiosk,
shielded behind a wall of magazines,
pearly smiles that could not
protect him from a fearsome blow.

What had he done to ignite her anger?
Did he insult her, offend her, ignore her,
cause some kind of irreparable hurt
that would result in her picking up that lonely stool--
three slabs of wood hewn with little regard--
and catapult it towards his head
with unforgiving accuracy?

And what of the curses that rained from her curled lips,
the stool landing with a THUD on the pavement,
the crowds watching, silent, motionless,
and the young man,
who woke up this morning
and all he wanted to do
was sell newspapers
and go home.


cups of coffee: 3

mood: excited!