beyond broken pieces

every day i witness the fragments of a world that should not be. the car rounding the corner dangerously close to where i'm standing, blindly running the red light and rudely blaring its horn at me. the child rummaging through the trash, picking out plastic bottles under the hot afternoon sun, during the very hours that he should be in school. the young women in tight tops and short skirts, blinking zombie-like at a small flickering TV screen, caged behind glass doors, silhouettes bathed in glaring pink light.

some days, i react out of fury, cussing at heaven and earth and everyone in between. other times, my heart swings heavy, my soul weighed by the sorrow of troubles beyond my control to fix. then there are the times that i actually respond in hope. these are the times that i am able to see beyond the broken pieces to the backdrop of grace, the gently pulsating and ever-brightening glow of the world that ought to be. the times that i see the mending of the broken pieces, the tenacious weaving of shalom back into a world that refuses to give evil the final say.

over the past few days i have had the great privilege of meeting with some amazing individuals to discuss the issues surrounding migrant workers in china. imagine tens of millions of individuals uprooting from their homes and congregating in urban centers to look for work and a better way of life. imagine families being separated, children growing up without their parents, older parents who have no idea where their children are or what they are doing, husbands and wives living thousands of kilometers apart and only able to see one another perhaps once or twice a year. imagine the influx of these tens of millions into a handful of cities, the amount of stress this produces on infrastructures such as health care, education, housing, sanitation....imagine that this mass migration is occurring within the borders of one nation, not from country to country. this is the current reality in china. during the past three days, i have been shocked by statistics, moved by compelling stories of success as well as loss, challenged in my perceptions and how i am to respond. there are no easy answers, no black-and-white formulas. but there is, and always will be, hope.

to look at the issues as a complex whole is to stand in the shadow of a behemoth--a feeling that overwhelms and petrifies, preventing many of us from action. but we are not called to do grand and perfect things. we are simply called to do the next thing and the right thing.

i have been considering my future a lot lately, probably too much. wondering what the next steps should be in my career and further education, turning over and over in my mind all the options and possibilities. very me-centric, actually. being at this conference reminded me that truly, life is not about me. yes, i may be the one who lives it and makes decisions day-to-day. but ultimately, life is not about me. there is an ecosystem i'm part of, a world that when in shalom, is a beautiful and glorious place. that kind of shalom is possible when each person exists for the flourishing of others, i believe. in living for others and not self, in returning to the Creator and His creation the graces He has bestowed upon me--ironically, i am myself more than ever.

what am i called to next? no answers yet. but i know what i am called to now--what i am always called to: act justly, love mercy, walk humbly. perhaps that is enough to know...

photo taken by a sixth grade migrant student for an exhibit at our gallery last spring

cups of coffee: 2

mood: hopeful