bird by bird

in my sophomore year of college, anne lamott's bird by bird was required reading for one of my writing classes. i was introduced to the sharp wit of lamott and found myself an instant fan of her tough persona that veiled surprising warmth--shucked by her incisive insight to expose willing vulnerability.

when i visited my parents back in march, i dug up bird by bird from a box of old college textbooks and brought it back with me to china. i'm currently re-reading it, needing to be encouraged/inspired/motivated to write again. though the book is geared towards (aspiring) writers, lamott provides great gems for just living life as well. i'd forgotten how much i enjoyed this book.

one chapter is on perfectionism - the demon that terrorizes so many writers (artists in general, i think). it's a terrible tease: seeing the vision of what you want to create--not even in full sometimes, just its wonderful golden aura that bathes your mind--the lifting of your heart as you catch sight of it, and then as you try to grab it by its elusive tail and flesh it out on paper, how the vision suddenly takes flight, disappearing as a vapor, and you are left twirling a feather in your fingers if you're lucky. then you become so scared of disappointment, of failing to catch that beauty of a vision, afraid of desecrating the very vision by your inability to capture it...until finally, you just stop trying.

the pattern happens in life as well: afraid to make mistakes, afraid to choose unwisely, afraid of disappointment, rejection, failure and everything in between....cornered into surrender.

anyway. back to the chapter.

i love this section that lamott writes to start off the chapter:

"I think perfectionism is based on the obsessive belief that if you run carefully enough, hitting each stepping-stone just right, you won't have to die. The truth is that you will die anyway and that a lot of people who aren't even looking at their feet are going to do a whole lot better than you, and have a lot more fun while they're doing it."


cups of coffee: 2

mood: week..almost...over....