surreality

i realized in mid-conversation with a friend the other night that for the past four years, i haven't been living in reality; i've been living in surreality. it's the combination of working in the art world and living in shanghai, creating a wild, decadent environment layered with airs of pretension, decked out in neon and glitter and soaked in champagne. weekends become a record of parties and hobnobbing - invitations to make it as a guest on the a-list flying furiously on a friday night through the text-o-sphere.

it all seemed quite silly at first - like we're all playing dress-up or still in high school and trying to find out which party the cool kids are going to. but then i realized that the parties were where introductions were made, collaborations were formed, doors were being opened...at least in the industry i'm working in. parties aren't optional; they come with the job.

so i started attending. i invested in (more) black clothes for my wardrobe. i transitioned from wearing hardly any jewelry to enormous earrings and clunky rings. i started wearing eyeliner. i wear heels (sometimes). i purchased a business card holder.

this isn't to say i haven't enjoyed it - i've enjoyed it a lot. it's a bit mind-boggling when i reflect on the events i've attended and the people i've met, particularly in the past couple of years: invitation to a dance performance with european royalty in attendance, dinner at art celebrity pearl lam's home, opening parties for luxury design brands such as hermes and dolce & gabbana, hanging out with renowned contemporary artists like mako fujimura....to name a few. i have been spoiled.

i think, though, that i've reached a point where i'm ready to take a break from surreality and live in reality for a bit. i'm also starving to learn - to be under the tutelage of those older and wiser than me. part of the surreality of shanghai is that we really are a bunch of kids: publication editors, gallery curators and directors, art dealers....most fall firmly in the age bracket between 25 and 35. shanghai really is the new wild west: most of us work in positions that would take us years elsewhere to reach. if i were in new york, i'd be lucky to be interning at an art gallery, forget running one.

what i really want to do right now is to go back to school, work in a cafe and learn to make a perfect cup of cappuccino, and grunge out in hoodies and jeans. i basically want to re-live my early 20's.

ironically, that feels more like reality.


cups of coffee: 2 + 2 green tea

mood:  contemplative