sitting shiva

So much of what we live goes on inside–
The diaries of grief, the tongue-tied aches
Of unacknowledged love are no less real
For having passed unsaid. What we conceal
Is always more than what we dare confide.
Think of the letters that we write our dead.

- "Unsaid", Dana Gioia

grief and joy both require the participation of others. joy is made more full when shared, grief more bearable.

in jewish tradition, shiva is the week-long period of grief and mourning for the seven first-degree relatives: father, mother, son, daughter, brother, sister and spouse. it's essential to the bereavement process, time set apart specifically to grieve.

beneath all the layers of law, i think shiva is a beautiful and rich practice. there is something right and true about mourning fully - we are acknowledging how the world is not supposed to be. death is not okay. losing loved ones is not okay. even as we cry in grief, we cry for the world that ought to be. we long not just for the loved one lost but for a paradise lost.

but we who believe in a God who redeems also weep for the world to come. we cry not out of despair but out of desperation. "o Lord," we cry, "come and make all things right."

How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever?
How long will you hide your face from me?
How long must I take counsel in my soul 
and have sorrow in my heart all the day?
How long shall my enemy be exalted over me?

Consider and answer me, O Lord my God;
light up my eyes, lest I sleep the sleep of death,
lest my enemy say, "I have prevailed over him,"
lest my foes rejoice because I am shaken.

But I have trusted in your steadfast love;
my heart shall rejoice in your salvation.
I will sing to the Lord,
because he has dealt bountifully with me.

- Psalm 13


cups of coffee:  2

mood:  grief